In January 1981, Jimmy Carter left Washington not for a corporate boardroom or a high-priced speaking circuit, but for a small, debt-ridden peanut farm in Plains, Georgia.

He was fifty-six years old, a “failed” one-term president in the eyes of the media, facing a million dollars in debt and a public that had moved on.

Most men in that position would have chased the wave. Carter chose the quiet life. We could use a few more politicians like Jimmy Carter. Ones who don’t want to bask in the public-eye or use elected office to make more money. Ones who want to get some work done and move on.

Return to the Dirt

Carter’s return to private life was a return to the physical world. He didn’t just own the farm; he worked it. He and Rosalynn spent the first years of his post-presidency writing and laboring to pay off their creditors. To Carter, the “dirt” wasn’t a step down; it was a return to the only reality that made sense.

“I have one life and one chance to make it count for something... I’m a simple person, and I’m much more comfortable with the life I’ve led since I left the White House than the life I led while I was there.” - Jimmy Carter

Stoicism meet Carterism

His discipline was rooted in a rigid, almost Stoic faith. In the woodworking shop—his true sanctuary—there is no room for political spin. A board is either level or it is not. Carter applied this same ideal to his honesty. He was often criticized in office for being “too honest” or “too rigid” to play the political game.

Out of office, that rigidity became his greatest strength. Whether it was teaching Sunday School for decades or the hours spent on a Habitat for Humanity roof, he operated with a quiet, tireless discipline that ignored the cameras.

For Your Consideration

Did he prefer it? His actions say yes. Carter lived in the same modest ranch house he built in 1961 until the end of his life. He chose the 18-hour workday of the volunteer and the craftsman over the luxury of the elite.

“The thing I’ve enjoyed most about my life is not the presidency, but the things that have happened since then. I’ve had a chance to do things that I never thought I would do.” - Jimmy Carter

He proved that the most disciplined thing a person can do is to stop caring about how they are perceived and start caring about the work in front of them. For Carter, that work was best done with dirt on his hands and his eyes on the level.

Just because your work day may be done, that doesn’t mean your day’s work is complete. If you can do more, do more. If you are tired, do it tired. If you see a need, fill a need.

For us, Carter was a great man. Show me someone with the same ideals and work ethic as Jimmy Carter and I’ll show you where my vote is.

I’m driving my usual morning commute as Daylight Savings and spring have ushered in a much-needed earlier sunrise. I go to work at 6:30 a.m., so I don’t get much of the sun before I am stuck inside working for the day.

I hit a red-light and admire the cars around me. I can’t help but sneak a peak at the drivers to see who owns such vehicles.

On my left—a grey Acura MDX with blacked-out windows—no owner visible. I can’t even see an outline of a person. For all I know, it could have been a Tesla self-driving vehicle.

I look to my right—a black Ford F-150 with even darker tinted windows. Suddenly, I realize nearly every vehicle around me has tinted windows. I felt alone. I pictured myself alone on a train car at midnight—that’s what it felt like.

It may not seem like a big issue at the surface, but it’s my contention that trends like this and other products alike are leading to a more unfriendly world—or at least, a world that feels unfriendly.

It’s Not Our Fault

Nothing you or your neighbors did were of any blame for the decline in friendliness. Even if you have tinted windows, it is hardly your fault that our world has become less amicable.

Most new vehicles now come standard with darker windows. Many are simply darker in the rear but many vehicles are dark all around. To not be able to look across the street or to your right or left and even see a face anymore has taken the humanity out of traffic.

I don’t see myself in queue with tens or hundreds of other people, I see myself in a parking lot by myself.

Here are some other products that are rising in popularity that have created a less-friendly world:

• Noise-Cancelling Headphones

• Tall Cubicle Walls

• Curb-Side Pickup / Door Delivery

• Ring Cameras

• Tall Fences

• Self-Checkout Kiosks

• Social Media

When you think of each one individually, they seem like they enhance your quality of life or maybe even increase employee efficiency by a few points. What they’re really doing is conditioning us all to become less social and used to dealing with technology over humans.

I am no conspiracy theorist or anything like that so I won’t say that I believe this is being done purposefully. But I don’t think this is good for anyone.

Think of the last stranger who said something abruptly to you in public. I’m willing to bet it was an older gentleman or lady. Their generations are so much more social and talkative than the younger generations. It can feel like pulling teeth when saying something out-of-the-blue to a younger person. With older folk, it’s second-nature.

The loneliness epidemic is certainly the effect of many causes but these causes are certainly part of the effect.

For Your Consideration

Before you get those tinted windows, think twice about it. Before you order contactless delivery, think about going and ordering in person. Instead of using self-checkout, run your items through the manned-checkout lane.

Take a lonely and automated part of your day and put the humanity back it.

Have a brief interaction with another human. Complement a stranger in the aisle. Help someone if they’re struggling to reach an item. Shop without your noise-cancelling headphones.

Connect with someone. Smile.

For all you know, they could really use a smile in their life. I know I could.

P.S. if you agree with me, you may find this video by Sheehan a most worthwhile watch.

I recently watched an interview of the former US Presidents by the TODAY show. Jenna Bush Hager interviewed Clinton, Bush, Obama, and Biden for America’s 250th anniversary and one thing that former President Biden said stuck with me.

He said:

“I’m not sure we’re as divided as we are portrayed.” Former President Joe Biden

I can’t seem to move on from that quote. Biden has as much reason as anyone to call this nation divided. His name, character, family, entire livelihood and being has been dragged through the mud and abused—by both sides of the aisle. Yet, he sits here, two years post presidency and can still say he doesn’t think America is as divided as it seems.

If he can think that, after being the target of name-calling and political slander for nearly a decade, then I think he may just be right.

Right vs Left

The title of my article and the content of my rhetoric must not be matching right now in your head but I promise I am getting to a point, as slowly as I usually do.

Our government has taken the shape of a democratic republic with a two-party system. I think you knew that already. Republicans and Democrats have been the dominant parties for roughly 170 out of America’s 250 years’ existence.

In order to get elected by your country, you must first gain the favor of your party. In order to gain the favor of your party, you must “toe the party line.” Vote with your party, speak like your party, and look like your party. Party favor holds candidates in line all the way to the White House. A politician simply cannot get elected President without the support of his party—see the Democrats 2024 wipeout as they were too slow to pick a favorable candidate and get all their support behind her.

A party system inherently limits what kind of politicians you are likely to see. For every liberal Republican, there’s 2 far-right voters. For every conservative Democrat, there’s 2 extreme-left voters. You get the point. Only those that fall somewhere between extreme-left and far-left will gain the favor of the Democrats and only those that fall somewhere between the extreme-right and the far-right will even smell a podium mic at a party convention.

This creates the “divide” we feel today.

We’re listening to politicians spout the same party-liners that we’ve always heard… except they’re angrier. They’re more aggressive. They’re just a bit more red or a bit more blue than they were 20 years ago.

That’s because the internet wants you mad. And rage-baiting is the most effective attention-grabber in the toolshed. See my deep dive article on that here.

I see people often say they want politics to be boring again but do you? Will you even notice the candidate who stands on the podium nicely and doesn’t rock the boat and doesn’t have an extreme stance on every issue?

You won’t.

Because he or she won’t be on the stage debating. Because they didn’t make headlines and they didn’t get free name recognition from viral videos with 1 million arguing-comments.

Get the point? We’re not as divided as we think we are. We’re just listening to people who are doing everything they can to take power and to keep it. They’re saying anything they can to get ahead and to paint the other guy as evil. Both sides have been guilty of this for a long time.

And if you don’t believe me—I present to you:

"A little patience, and we shall see the reign of witches pass over, their spells dissolved, and the people, recovering their true sight, restore their government to its true principles.” - Thomas Jefferson on the Federalist Party

Rhetoric can be moving. But hateful rhetoric is motivating. It gets your blood pressure up. It gets you to Pokémon-go-to-the-polls.

But at the end of the day? There’s really no division between you and the person next to you at the bar or the cinema.

For Your Consideration

It may feel like our nation is cracked right down the middle with hazard lights flashing on both sides while Sirens attempt to lure you in. I think it’s important to remember that we truly aren’t as divided as we think we are. I like to think Biden is right. At the end of the day, Americans are Americans.

Political differences and, unfortunately, political violence have always been a thing in this nation. If someone has to say what they think a little more aggressively to get a vote in 2026, then they’re going to do that.

I’ll leave you to the rest of your weekend with one final quote from the same interview:

“The beauty about democracy is that it’s self correcting.” - Former President George W. Bush

I ran a media brand called The Extra. I successfully went viral again and again and amassed a decent following on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube in that order.

Before I dive into it, I suppose I should prove that I had the follower count that I say I did.

So here are the receipts:

TikTok

The first to blow. I started with only a TikTok account.

Instagram

If memory serves, this account had just hit 233k when I deactivated it. The rest are still public except this one. I deactivated to fossilize the page for a potential return someday.

YouTube

Full disclosure: I quit posting on YouTube two years ago at under 20,000 subscribers. My subscriber count has doubled since I quit.

Twitter

Viral posts but obviously did not have as much success.

Going Viral

Perhaps you’re looking at these numbers and thinking, “well, it isn’t a million followers so it wasn’t that successful.” Or maybe you’re looking at this and realizing that you once followed me!

Either way, my point is not to gloat. My point is to prove that I have experience in the realm of social media and what I say on the topic can be trusted.

If all of that wasn’t enough, perhaps you remember the beginning of the AI video deepfake movement as hundreds upon hundreds of people used a new AI tool to put the likeness of famous people and characters over a video of Lil Yachty walking out on stage during a performance…

I didn’t create the AI, but I did post the Lil Yachty video. There’s my claim to fame. If you look closely in the corner of this screenshot, you can see my original logo for The Extra in the corner. Or watch the original video right here if you don’t believe me.

I’ve had posts go viral on Twitter, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, hell—even iFunny. I’ve been around the block and back again on trends and trending pages and I figured out exactly how the algorithms worked.

I had it locked.

I mastered it.

I was aiming for a Barstool Sports level of success and trending for it too.

Then one day, I gave it all up. I stopped posting abruptly. Deactivated the accounts and moved on.

What it cost me

Summer of 2023. It was hot, sticky, and COVID-free. My 23 year old self and my friends were ready to spread our wings post-2020.

I had just moved to a new city, post collegiate graduation with my girlfriend, who didn’t know she was about to become my fiancée.

The Extra had captivated so much of my free time, I couldn’t think about anything other than getting another post to go viral. Or how I was going to grow. Or a rebrand initiative. Or positioning ourselves as the next media giant. Or how we were going to start monetizing. I was lost.

It was fine in college when I had all sorts of free time. I spent two hours a DAY editing videos and posting on social media.

Once I had moved to my new city, I gathered some friends and brought them into the fold. I wanted to monetize and I needed help—I couldn’t just repurpose copyrighted content anymore, it had to be original content. So I needed some talent. Once we moved, I had to keep up my pace. So I spent two hours every evening editing and posting after working my big boy job from 8-5.

I got three or four guys in rooms and started a podcast, the Deepcut Podcast, which still holds up for the few short episodes we did (in my most humble, most subjective opinion). Then I added Off The Press satire news, a Weekend Update rip-off of-sorts.

Adding original content to the repertoire doubled my hours. I was now putting in 3 or 4 hours a night as my aging MacBook could not handle the 4k podcast footage and three mic setup. I was spiraling towards a burnout—quickly.

Then we received the news.

My mother was diagnosed with Major Cognitive Impairment due to Early-Onset Alzheimer’s at 54 years old.

My world came crashing down.

I couldn’t edit what felt so unimportant.

I couldn’t continue The Extra as it felt useless. I had no idea if it would ever start generating money or if it was a gigantic waste of time. I questioned everything around me and what was important. Do I only have thirty years left, too?

So I sat down with my girlfriend and asked her one simple question.

I hadn’t written or made music in the two years I worked on The Extra. If I quit, I could focus on my art that would last beyond me and would satisfy me. Or I could continue The Extra and possibly have a big money maker in the future, despite not being something I love doing.

All-in-all, without much debate, The Extra was given a foreclosure sign and I returned to the shadows to make music and began writing my first novel, For All Things Finer.

I finished that novel in March of this year. Since 2023 I’ve also written two television pilot scripts and I am working on my third. I am about to begin working on my second novel. And I have released SIX musical projects/albums.

What I Learned

Life is so short. It passes us by. I was terrified I was going to look up from my computer and realize I missed it all.

I deleted my social media apps. I stopped responding to texts and calls instantly. I powered my phone off and chose me. Chose right now. I licked my wounds and attempted to heal parts of my that will always hurt, but they hurt a little less today.

I learned that social media is fleeting. It may be a necessary evil now for artists and businesses alike but we’ve strayed so far.

It hurts me to see so many prostituting their values and beliefs for a few likes, followers, or rage-baited comments.

We conform to the radical left or the radical right or the oft-excluded radical middle to gain a cult following that turns their back on you when you misstep off the party line.

I learned that a negative comment can ruin your day. I learned that people are angry. So angry about so many things. Without fail, a comedy video of mine would result in a comments-argument. An all-out brawl with often racial or the worst epithets hurled out just to tell somebody else that their opinion was wrong or that it was stupid.

I learned that the internet is not a good place.

That something that relies on human input cannot ever be a good place. Because where there is human input, there is human corruption, human greed, human hatred, and human anger. We are not all born angry and corrupt but we are certainly, inherently, corruptible and irascible.

I learned that not one follower, one interaction, not one comment, nor 10,000 subscriber milestone, or million-likes reel made me happy.

I only wanted more.

So I gave it up.

I gave myself less.

The absolute truth? I still miss it. I miss that feeling of hitting post and seeing a thousand likes in minutes. Ten thousand in ten minutes. Waking up to 200k likes overnight on one post.

The human brain isn’t meant for that kind of attention.

The older I get, the more I realize that maybe we’re just not meant for attention.

Maybe I’m just not meant for attention. And that’s okay. I prefer the porch to the podium anyway.

There appears to be a stigma toward medication in regards to treating depression and anxiety. People are either for it or against it.

Some say you only need a good walk and a good attitude to be happy while others claim that only a pill can fix them.

The answer is much more nuanced than any of that. There is not one correct, tried and true way to cure your depression or anxiety. In fact, not one thing will ever make you feel better just like that.

On the contrary, several factors combined can help you. There are several changes to your life you must make if you seek to lessen the impact of your anxiety and depression.

But here’s the kicker—you can do everything right and have a great life and you still may feel melancholy. One of life’s greatest ironies.

Lincoln’s Melancholy

Abraham Lincoln’s “melancholy,” as it was then called, was not a fleeting sadness but a foundational part of his character, likely triggered by the early, compounding losses of his mother, sister, and his first love, Ann Rutledge.

It manifested as a clinical, bone-deep despair that famously led his friends to put him on “suicide watch” during his thirties and left him prone to bouts of near-catatonic gloom.

Despite his rise to the Presidency, the weight never lifted. He managed it through a combination of self-deprecating humor, relentless work as a “distraction,” and a deeply fatalistic philosophy. He didn’t “fix” his depression with the primitive medicine of the 1860s; he simply learned to carry it as a necessary burden while navigating the literal dismantling of his country.

He carried it. Until his untimely death in 1865, he carried it.

It reminds me of a quote from King Ezekiel in The Walking Dead.

“And yet I smile.”

No matter how bad things got, Ezekiel repeatedly said that line. As stoic as stoic gets—whatever happens, happens.

The Real Cure

Pills, long walks, deep breaths, counting to ten, none of these will magically cure you.

I am not a doctor and far from any position to give any sort of medical advice—but I can say with a certain air of confidence, having struggled with life-long depression myself, that not one thing can cure you overnight.

Instead, a combination of several factors will help you.

Eat better. Stay hydrated. Drink less alcohol. Engage in fewer drugs. Exercise routinely and aggressively. Walk far and wide. Medicate as recommended by your physician if necessary. Cut your screen-time… You get the point.

Everything in moderation.

For your consideration

Let me end by saying this: there is nothing wrong with you or the way you feel. Everything you think is the result of conditioning from a society that has placed more value on its bottom line than happiness. Social media has worsened things for us all.

You should never feel embarrassed because you’re sad or forlorn or anxious, it’s a flaw in the human condition, not you. Everything will be okay.

The last few years have been a gauntlet of tests for me—family illness, loss, and the tightening grip of financial struggles. It feels less like a season of bad luck that keeps on coming. Somedays I can’t quite see Spring on the horizon.

And yet I smile.

I used to think blocking someone was such an extreme move.

That it should only be used when all other options had been exhausted. I used to think it meant you were cutting ties and that the bridge was permanently destroyed.

That is not the case.

Blocking and muting are perhaps the last defense for your mental health.

Why you need to block more people

Muting also exists.

I’ve been a fan of the mute function on every single platform since the dawn of its conception. When Snapchat allowed you to start muting stories, by God I whittled my friends list down so much that I hardly saw stories anymore.

When iMessage allowed the muting of group chats or specific people—muted him, muted her, muted them.

There comes a point when something stronger is necessary. Noise is noise and that is fine to simply mute. But when the noise is bothering you? When it disrupts your life and causes you angst or anger? The mute function simply won’t do.

Gut up and call them out. If they persist, block their number without warning.

They’ll get the message real quick. If they don’t change, keep them blocked.

The one strike policy

For the love of all that is holy, if you post on social media then you need a one-strike policy.

If I receive one negative comment or somebody who routinely argues with everything I say, they are blocked so quickly it’s almost automatic. I simply don’t have time to put up with it anymore.

Misery loves company and company is easily found online.

One negative comment = lifetime ban. I don’t need subscribers or followers that badly. And I hate to break it to all of you out there who respond “thanks for the engagement.” Comments don’t make that big of a difference anymore. They might help a little bit but a negative comment is not worth the ten extra impressions your post may or may not receive.

For your consideration

If I am able to convince you of one thing—block any rude or negative comments.

The person who brings negativity into your life will likely not turn around and start being positive. Block them and move on with your life. Let the trolls or bots find another comment section to cancerize.

Think I’m bluffing? Comment something negative on this article and it’ll be the last time you see my name on your feed. I’ll do you that favor.

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There’s simply too many.

Too many albums. Too many movies. Too many books. Too many livestreams. Too many newsletters. “Too many” of pretty much everything.

I don’t have an opinion on whether this is a good thing or a bad thing but one realization is certain: celebrity culture is dying.

Being famous just doesn’t have the same ring to it anymore. You could reach a million+ people with one viral video right now. Social media has led to an inflation of fame.

The Inflation of Fame via Influencers

Back when I was still stuck in the abuse cycle of social media feeds, I would see a new “celebrity” or “influencer” about every week. Maybe even closer to every other day.

Influencers have blurred the line between fame and popularity. So many have successfully made the leap from influencer to celebrity—something that is probably easier to do than the TV actor to movie actor pipeline back in the day.

The sheer volume of impressions, views, followers that online personas can amass is mind-boggling. Some of the biggest stars on the planet started as simple “Content Creators.” Many have become business moguls, movie stars, and pop icons.

There are thousands of “celebrities” now. And if everyone is a celebrity, then no one is.

Too Much Content, Not Enough Time

Some of the biggest movie stars on the planet can’t even get people to show up to the theaters anymore.

Some of the biggest names in music can barely move 100k copies.

There is so much art to consume out there that even the biggest celebrities are taking the backseat to niche micro-influencer podcasts.

With this much stuff out there, it makes me ponder how much popularity has evolved. Who was more famous: Justin Timberlake circa 2004 or The Kid LAROI today? If you plucked The Kid LAROI out of time and space and dropped him in the music scene in 2004—adjusting for the music taste evolution—I believe he would’ve been a much bigger star than he is today.

But those are just my thoughts. I could be wrong. Maybe you think he is more popular than Timberlake at his height. Nonetheless, the competition wasn’t as oversaturated. We can agree on that at least.

For Your Consideration

Celebrity culture is over.

It’s no longer a cool party trick to know every actor, influencer, musician that comes across your feed—it’s obsession.

Do you know more celebrity names than people in real life? I sure do.

That’s unhealthy. I was so wrapped up in Pop Crave and all things pop culture that I missed the whole point—these celebrities were people who brought value to your life, usually in the form of entertainment. So many just bring noise now.

Distance yourself from the rat race of celebrity culture.

There’s so much going on. You don’t have to keep up with any of it. Focus on keeping up with yourself. Your brain will thank you for it. What’s new with you? What have you created lately?

Who cares what so and so said on a podcast the other day. What’s a funny anecdote that happened to you recently?

To be honest with you, my wife and I used to fail at cooking dinner for months on end.

We fell into the trap of ordering DoorDash and choosing carry-out meals over a solid, home-cooked dinner. We’d make dinner once or twice a week. On January 1st of 2026, we decided enough was enough. We had wasted too much money on delivery fees and Chick Fil-A fries.

We knew we couldn’t simply start cooking dinner every night—having to look at your fridge contents, think of a recipe that works, then scramble it all together last minute? No, no, no. That would not work.

By 5 p.m. on a workday, we both suffer from decision fatigue. We’ve made so many choices in our workday that we can no longer stomach deciding one more thing: what to cook for dinner?

So, we created a fool-proof system. The Decision Fatigue Meal Plan Calendar.

I’ll walk you through the steps on how to make your own meal plan calendar (EASILY!). Or you can consider becoming a paid subscriber to The Reprieve and get access to the pre-built Decision Fatigue Meal Plan Calendar PDF!

How I Create My Own Meal Plan in Minutes

On our fridge, we have a dry-erase calendar. People probably usually use these types of things to keep track of to-do lists and household events but we use it as our meal plan calendar.

Here’s how we do it:

1. Create a list of every meal you eat

We sat down and went through every meal we eat and threw in a few fun ones too. We created this list in the basic iPhone notes app.

It took a little while but you only have to do this once! A bulleted list, numbered, or simply line by line will work.

2. Generate a plan via your AI tool of choice (I use Gemini)

Choose your AI tool of choice (this is where the ease comes in)!

Open up a new chat and name it Meal Planning—this will save you time in the future.

In your prompt, tell AI that you want a weekly meal plan for [insert how many weeks or days you want planned for you]. We do two weeks at a time.

Then tell AI all your personal rules—do you want Tacos or Mexican on Tuesdays? Tell it. Do you want it to not repeat any meals at all? Tell it. Get as customizable as you want. Or you can just tell it to create a list for you.

Copy your list of meals from your notes, then paste into the prompt after you’ve instructed with your rules. Hit enter and watch the magic.

Two weeks (more or less) picked for you in seconds.

3. Log your calendar

After AI has given you your list of meals. Write them down somewhere or log them into your calendar so you don’t have to check the AI chat every evening.

If you want, feel free to mix them around or ask AI for a new suggestion if you aren’t feeling like a meal here or there.

4. Buy the necessary ingredients

Here’s the important part. The next time you get groceries, make sure to get all the ingredients you need for the meal plan calendar you have made.

Pro tip: if you don’t want to scavenger through every recipe you have for your time frame, ask AI to provide you a list of ingredients for all the meals in your meal plan!

5. Make your dinner and stick to the plan!

The last part is the hardest!

MAKE the meal! Don’t be lazy and don’t let your tastebuds tell you you’re not hungry for the meal you’ve written down. You have the choice made, you have the ingredients, now make the meal!

Access My Pre-Made Meal Plan Calendar!

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I often see notes of people who awe at the fact that their parents used to cook dinner every single night when they were growing up. Simply making dinner for your child is seen as an impossible feat to many adults now.

But there’s a reason why so many feel that way.

Our fathers and grandfathers didn't have to manage 14 subscription logins, charge six devices, and navigate a bi-monthly password update for a recipe app. They just worked, then they sat on the porch (allow me some hyperbole).

You aren't lazy; you are simply drowning in the admin of a technological world that was supposed to make things easier. The noise has never been louder.

You have a choice today: spend your life behind a screen, or invest in your sovereignty. Join the paid tier community for $7/month and get full access to the article archive and Downloadable Assets (like the Weekend of Presence Checklist) to free your attention. A day spent is your life spent. Choose wisely.

Where has the time gone?

You don’t feel like you have less time than your parents did. You have less time than your parents did.

Research by Elizabeth Emens in her book Life Admin: How I Learned to Do Less, Do Better, and Live More suggests that the average adult now loses between 8 and 15 hours every week to admin tasks at home… tasks that didn’t even exist 30 years ago.

A study by Brightpearl found that adults spend nearly 9 hours a week just on personal life admin (bills, cars, household logistics), which doesn’t even account for the admin work done on the job—that figure is closer to 21 hours a week.

Your “free-time” is literally being eaten up by your chores.

Obviously, there are chores and tasks that adults 30 years ago had to deal with that we don’t anymore. But has the advancement of these tasks actually saved us any time?

I don’t remember the last time I tried to refold a map or plot out the best route with a highlighter. I haven’t had to run to the bank to withdraw cash in years. The last time I set foot in a library to answer a question for research was in college.

I do remember the last time my phone died or I lost connection and couldn’t load the route anymore. I have had to re-verify and connect my bank account several times or had to call a unmanned 1-800 number and wait on hold for hours. I have sifted through loads of AI-generated garbage and SEO-product placements to find an answer to a simple question.

Must I even dive into the lack of proper nutrients most of our food contains now? What kind of mental effect has years of junk food, processed foods, and artificial everything had on us? That’s a topic for another day…

How to make the most of the leftover time

More so than our ancestors, we must be so deliberate with how we spend our time. The distractions in today’s world far outnumber the distractions of the old days. I don’t think anyone can argue against that.

You still have to balance family, friends, faith, health, and work on any normal day. But now you must also balance time on your TV, laptop, phone, gaming console, and whatever else you may have that wants your attention.

You must be intentional with your time each day or, before you know it, the years will have passed you by.

I have a cut-off time for using my phone. After 8:00 p.m. I am unreachable. The only person who has my attention after that time is my wife. No one can interrupt it. I am deliberately trying to spend my last few hours of my day with her and her only.

I write every morning at 5am. Because if I didn’t set that schedule, I wouldn’t ever get around to it. Before I started writing in the morning, I would be upset at myself because I wasn’t being productive. Now I begin every single day with that win.

Choose your time wisely. A day spent is your life spent. What will you do with the change?

For your consideration

Being an adult may not actually be harder today than it’s ever been. I exaggerate for effect. But no one can argue that our attention and time are more at risk than they’ve ever been.

Live your life like it’s the 80s, 70s, 60s or whatever decade you prefer. Pretend you don’t have that little controlling device in your pocket. You’d be surprised how much slower life feels when you’re not spending it looking at a screen.

I don’t know about you but my life is passing by faster than I’d like it too. I can only hope I don’t look up from my phone in forty years and realize I missed it all.

Social media is a trap.

We know this. For many, it’s a digital casino. We consume the Lotus Flowers and stay for hours on end only to look up and wonder where the time went.

But it’s not your fault. Read that again. It’s not your fault that you are or were addicted to social media. That fault lies entirely on the engineers of the platform who have spent decades targeting your preferences to increase your screen-time.

If you truly ask me, the powers-that-be behind social media platforms deserve to be fined into oblivion or even face jail-time. However, since I am writing here to help you, I will keep my personal diatribes against them at bay. Instead, I will attack the platforms themselves.

In short: we deserve an apology.

Interest-Based Discovery (or the For You Page, FYP)

The interest-based discovery feeds date back to the early 2010s when YouTube realized that watch-time increased when users were recommended content they actually wanted to see rather than what they said they wanted to see.

On the surface, this curated social media feed sounds like a good idea.

In practice, it’s a devious trap, designed to keep you engaged.

Think of it this way: you see something you like, you maybe read the comments or you visit their profile. Now the algorithm is learning that you’re interested in that content. Even if it is a type of content that you actually don’t want to see! We are naturally curious as humans, we engage with things we know aren’t good for us like drugs because we’re curious. There’s an entire program for children to teach them not to use drugs at an early age—but by all means glue your eyeballs to this iPad, kiddo.

At this moment, I am reminded of a verse from the famed Eagles track, Hotel California:

“Relax,” said the night man / “We are programmed to receive / You can check out any time you like / But you can never leave”

Sound familiar? That song was released in 1976… It was about the “dark underbelly” of the American Dream, fame, excess, and hedonism, specifically in regards to the California music scene at the time. I am simply haunted by the eerie similarity between those lines and the mass addiction we face with social media today.

Even for those of you that have deleted social media and begun your journey of the digital detox, it can feel like you’re facing withdrawals. It feels like you can exit the app anytime you want, but the notifications and emails make sure you can never leave.

Should we really be allowed to see an unlimited supply of things that grab our attention?

Are we, as humans, really able to control ourselves when faced with the things that draw our eyes?

The Evil

Let’s picture a 16 year old male who has Instagram, or, god-forbid, X. This 16 year old, in the throes of development and hormones, comes across an image of a scantily-clad supermodel—or worse, a nude image or video of an OnlyFans sex worker.

How is this 16 year old, who is bursting at the seams hormonally, expected to control his impulses and simply swipe away? When you saw an attractive lady in a movie back in your day, did you look away? How many of Gen X can remember the first time they saw Christie Brinkley in the pool scene in National Lampoon’s Vacation?

A 2024 study by The Harbinger tested social media algorithms specifically for underage boys. They found that on a “male” profile, it took exactly two scrolls before the algorithm began serving sexually-driven media.

Even worse? They also found that TikTok had a 150% higher engagement rate than other platforms precisely because it tracked “linger time” (milliseconds) on sexualized images to keep boys locked in the feed.

If you interact with one piece of content that is sexually-driven and then refresh the feed, the content will immediately show more sexually-driven videos—looking at you, TikTok and X. One interaction. One refresh. That’s how fast it can happen.

This concern should be a nation-wide priority. Not only is this appalling, it’s disgusting.

The For You Page is a digital predator. These platforms are not only grooming our male youth, they are destroying their sexual expectations. Warped by early exposure to porn, kinks, and the dirtiest possible exploitations of women, I fear for the mental health of our men.

By the way, this is just one example of the evil of these feeds—we could dive into the body-image crisis crippling entire generations of women across the board and the trust issues and the quick spread of hateful rhetoric as “echo-chambers” show you more and more of what you “want” to see.

I know that the “following” feeds do still exist. But—in the same argument where we acknowledge that our attention is grabbed more by what we “actually want to see” than by what we follow—who is actually choosing to spend all their time on that following tab? If you are, then good on you.

We could even dive into the horrors behind Tinder, Bumble, and the like, but for now, I think you get the gist.

For Your Consideration

If you’re one of those who have been controlled, warped, and groomed by these “social media” platforms, hear me again: it is not your fault. There is nothing wrong with you, your body, your sexual orientation, what you are into, how you feel, or how you think. You were manipulated by a digital casino.

You’ve consumed the Lotus Flower for years. The only way to escape is to stop eating the flower. Delete the apps and never redownload them.

You will not miss anything. I promise.

I am so sorry for all of us who have had our minds and lives altered by Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter/X, Reddit, Snapchat, Pinterest, Threads, LinkedIn, Substack (yes, even Substack), TikTok, and all the others out there that have levied for your attention over the years and manipulated you (whether you know it or not).

Walk yourself out of the Hotel California today and leave. Despite what they think, you certainly can.

Overcoming any addiction is never an easy task. The same is true with a scrolling addiction.

I’ve mastered the art of killing my phone periodically. I am no longer owned by the algorithms that think they know me. It comes naturally to me now—powering down the phone for who knows how long.

But it wasn’t always this easy.

In the beginning, I felt that itch, the pull to check my phone because what if someone was trying to get ahold of me?

I learned through dedication and discipline to overcome these feelings.

I’ll share with you the simple steps that I take every weekend to be present.

The Steps

In a few simple steps, you can ensure that your day of digital detox goes the distance. It can be difficult to turn your phone off for an aimless amount of time and simply expect your will to last.

By being intentional with these easy steps—your weekend of presence will remain uninterrupted.

1. Be Intentional

A weekend of presence doesn’t happen by accident. You have to decide to be the sovereign of your time before the clock strikes 5:00 PM on Friday. If you’re not deadest on going without your phone, you won’t make it. It really is an all-or-nothing thing.

Set the phone aside and be intentional.

2. Resist the Urge to “Check In”

The “quick check” is the trapdoor back into the cage. We don’t check in with the digital world because we need to; we do it because we are afraid of the silence.

One quick check for any missed calls will quickly snowball into replying to emails, checking TikTok, and more.

3. Embrace the Friction

Real life is “thick.” It has texture, delays, and boredom. When you step away from the frictionless ease of a glass screen, things take longer. That is the point. Learning to love the friction is how you know you’re finally awake.

It’s easy to pick up the phone and let it dominate your attention again. You must resist the urge when your phone is next to you as long as possible. I can’t tell you how many times you’ll slip back into the scrolling. But as long as you detox periodically in your free-time, it will never own you again

These three shifts are the foundation. But ‘how’ you actually navigate 48 hours without a digital compass requires a plan. I’ve built the Weekend of Presence Checklist to be your field guide—a step-by-step tactical map to ensure you don’t just survive the weekend, but reclaim it.

A day spent is your life spent. Invest in your sovereignty. You can download the full, high-res checklist in The Assets now for only $7/month.

Download the Weekend of Presence Checklist:

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You were happy. Everything was great. Your food arrived and boy did your mouth salivate looking at your burger. Double stacked with a fried egg and all the toppings you wanted—you were ready to devour it.

Your friend’s plate arrived right after yours, except he ordered a steak. You’d never seen such a thick 6oz filet in your life. The sweat drops of sweet, medium-rare blood flipped your stomach. You looked back at your measly burger and regretted ordering it. You wished you could swap the plates without your friend noticing. But this isn’t Tom and Jerry, so you probably wouldn’t get away with that.

So you put your head down, plug your nose, and take a bite out of your burger. It tasted okay, but it was no 6oz filet.

You were excited for your burger until you compared your plate to your friend’s. Somehow, even though your burger looked delicious to you, just because your friend’s steak looked a little better, now it didn’t look so appetizing.

This is exactly what happens when you compare your life with others.

When you see your friend doing something fun like a vacation to Spain or a getaway to the hills—all of a sudden the Friday-night-in you were looking forward to feels like a death sentence.

The things you’re proud of become meaningless in the face of other people’s better accomplishments.

Why do we do this? Why do we compare our lives with others?

The 26th President of the United States warned us about this.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Theodore Roosevelt.

We could learn a lot more from Teddy, but for now, we’ll stick to the subject at hand.

Three ways to stop the thief:

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m not the biggest fan of social media; and, if you’re reading this, I’m willing to bet that you aren’t either.

Here are three proven ways to practice turning your comparisons into congratulations.

1. Limit your social media intake

As always with The Reprieve, I will step on my soapbox and shout about the negatives of social media. But I’ve never been a great orator. So I’ll step down and give you the quick hits.

Social media is a highlight reel. You’re only seeing the best of people’s lives. You are seeing the one vacation that your second-cousin has taken in three years but since you saw two Caribbean photos from two other people, you begin to wonder why you’re the only one who can’t afford to go. You just didn’t see the strain the money has put on them or the three years that your second-cousin saved up for it.

Most people aren’t posting about the negatives. For the most part, the people you’re following aren’t posting about the fight they had with their husband or getting skipped over for a promotion. But they will be posting about their new house or new car.

Limit your intake of social media because once you look at one of these posts, there is literally only one thing for your mind to do: Say, “Hey, why am I not in that picture?”

2. Stop your thoughts when you begin to compare

Picture your life and others’ as incomparable. Think of them as so vastly different (they are!!!) that you can’t even begin to be jealous of your friend’s steak. There’s an infinite amount of reasons that he ordered a steak and why your ordered a burger.

It’s definitely a mental task but the quicker you can recognize that you are comparing yourself to others, the sooner you will be able to stop those intrusive thoughts from intruding. You’re on your own path. There’s no reason to wonder what everyone else is up to because it doesn’t matter. Your paths are so different and you will be in very different places by the end.

3. Compare yourself to the dead, not the living

It may sound weird at first, but try not to compare yourself to the 18 year old YouTube influencer who just bought their parent’s a house.

Instead, focus on the dead.

• Abraham Lincoln was considered a “failure” in most respects into his late 40s. He became President at 52.

• Laura Ingalls Wilder didn’t publish her first book, Little House in the Big Woods, until she was 65. She published Little House on the Prairie three years later.

• Benjamin Franklin didn't help draft the Declaration of Independence until he was 70. He then went to France as a diplomat at 71, effectively winning the Revolutionary War through his wit and focus.

There’s a million artists and leaders who “made it” later in life. Stop watching MomTok or Kai Cenat and thinking that you’re running out of time.

For your consideration

We all seem a little less happy than we used to be. The human race seems a little less happy than it was once upon a time. But who knows if folks who lived in the 1800s were truly happier? Perhaps it’s humanity’s curse to inflict pain upon itself.

We can say with some confidence now that social media isn’t helping. Limit your digital intake and attempt to catch yourself as you start to compare your life with others.

If you can stop comparing everything, I guarantee you’ll find yourself a lot happier soaking in the mundane of those Friday nights-in.

Above all else, have faith that you’re exactly where you are supposed to be. What happens to you was supposed to happen since the beginning of time and you have no control. You can only choose how you react to what happens. So will you be happy or pout?

Congratulate your friends and acquaintances today. Don’t be selfish and wish it was you.

I walked around the outskirts of the acreage while the dog ran free, bobbing through the tall grass with her ears whipping up and down. Her tongue traced the landscape as it flopped around her smile. It was spring time in the midwest. Glorious spring time. We felt the sun warm us as we strolled for an afternoon walk.

I he…

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They say the average person sees between 4,000 and 10,000 advertisements a day. That’s about two to seven ads per minute.

Over 1.1 billion pieces of content are published on social media every day.

I don’t remember how to do calculus anymore but that’s a lot.

How many posts do you see in a day? How many do you remember?

I…

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I was born in the summer. Growing up, I loved summer—no school, warm days, and a birthday to top it off.

Naturally, most children love summer and hate winter. This internalized hatred for winter often carries into adulthood, despite most adults still having to work through the warmer seasons.

The winter is dark, brutal, lo…

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The sunlight woke me up, not an alarm.

When I opened my eyes, my thoughts started slowly. I was thinking about the color of the sunrise as it bounced off the walls in my room and how I could see blue skies through the window. I wondered if it was warm outside and if I could go for a walk.

I didn’t wonder if I had any not…

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Slow down.

Yes, you—stop. Take a breath.

Life is fast. I know.

My days seem to flash by in a snap and I can’t seem to slow it down. I wake up at 4:45 am every morning to write before my 9-5 and before I know it, my 5-9 has ended and I’m nodding off after trying to read for five minutes.

Life only seems to move faster with…

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Peace looks different to everyone.

To me, time alone with my wife in the middle of nowhere is peace. To some, a mosh pit concert might be peace. To others, shopping might be peace. Peace can manifest in all sorts of ways for humans.

Picture your “happy place” in your mind. Where are you? What are you doing? Who is with yo…

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Their toddler took his first steps. Their baby boy was actually walking. They were over-the-moon with happiness as they watched their son take his first stroll from behind a screen.

They filmed it on their smartphone. They didn’t actually see their son take his first steps; they saw what the camera saw. They missed h…

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Creative people have a tendency to be lazy.

It’s okay to admit.

We’re scatterbrained folk who can find it difficult to work on (or finish) a project. Most often, this is due to the lack of a routine.

I went years starting projects, picking…

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